Wednesday Adams meets a gorilla

A woman that I work with tells me she wants to set me up. Again, fine, what the hell? She says her financial adviser is 30 years old, single, cute, and smart. Sounds good, lets go! She calls him, he says for me to text him since he is at work and he will call me later. He calls me around 5pm. We talk for a bit, he sounds very nice, he is sarcastic (which I like) and sounds smart. He tells me he had a good meeting with his boss and would like to go out and celebrate. Ok, I have nothing to do. Its a Wednesday night. He comes to me and takes me out to dinner. I see him, and yea, not so cute. He is a little chubby, not fat, but there is clearly a belly there. His face is ok, I'd give his face a 7 until he starts to speak, but Ill get to that later. We go to an Italian Restaurant called Fiore di Mare. This translates to something with fish, i dont know exactly what. Anyway, he is allergic to all types of fish. What is with these guys and their wierd allergies? He orders something non-fish and seems content. He also order pea soup. Now, why would you order soup on a date? Its awkward to eat, in my opinion. He gets his soup and is slurping it, which is grossing me out. He pauses briefly to scratch his chest and when his shirt moves, I see the rug on his chest that lies beneath. Then as we're talking, I realize that when he speaks only the bottom part of his mouth moves like a dummy or a puppet. Picture it, you cant picture it without laughing. This is why he is called Wednesday Adams meets a gorilla. Obviously its an awkward smile if the top part of his lip doesnt move. Try speaking like that, its not possible, he should be in some sort of show. He would make a ton of money betting people that he can do it cause its impossible for normal people. Anyway.... dinner ends and he takes me home. I carry on the conversation most of the time. I feel like I need to give him a second date cause when I go to work the next day, the woman asks me how it went and seems excited. So he calls me and date 2 is the movies. I hate the movies, but whatever at least I wont have to watch him speak. We get there and he insists on ordering popcorn. Of course, why wouldnt the chubbo want some popcorn. He tries to put his arm around me at the movie. This does not fly with me, I tell him, I feel awkward with PDAs. After the movie, he takes me home and I tell him Im going speed dating cause I have exhausted all other areas of conversation and figure maybe he has done it before. He looks at me all indignant and says that is an inappropriate topic for a date. Ok buddy. He drops me off, tries to text me several times, I ignore them, and I have not heard from him again.