Midget Man

I have 2 dates tonight. Date 1 is with Ryan, a 30 year old trader who lives in Manhattan. I take the express bus in to meet him at Japonais on Park Ave and E 14th. I ask the bus driver which stop to get off at. It is obvious that no one has talked to him all day because he strikes up a conversation with and then creates a stop at the top of 14th and tells me to make sure I finish my partyin early enough to catch the bus home. I walk down to the bar and a cute looking guy is sitting at a stool in the corner. I walk up to him, say hello and sit down. The bartender comes up to me and looks exactly like Kim's friend Diane. I think its her and give her a wierd hello smile and stare trying to figure out if it really is her. Turns out its not and I look like a retard. I drink 2 glasses of wine and talk to Ryan about his life and his experience with the whole online dating thing. He says it hasnt been so bad but he gets matched with a lot of older women, so he says he likes that Im younger. I translate that to mean that he probably thinks Ill sleep with him sooner and party harder. I tell him I need to go at around 8 because I have to meet my friend. Date 2 is with Brett, a sales manager at AT&T. I went out with him twice so far. He came to me both times which I thought was pretty nice. We went for sushi the first time and to an italian restaurant the second time. He is 5'3" which is really short for a guy but based on my past experiences, I decide that I won't be so shallow. We meet up at the W hotel bar for a drink. Everything is going fine until he insists that I put on the hat that he brought for me. I obviously refuse. He tries to physically force it on my head as we are walking out the door to go to the restaurant for dinner. Im a little freaked out. We get in a cab and I tell him I really am not a fan of being told what to do. (he also told me he doesnt want me to go to the gym every day of the week because its not healthy and it was not in a friendly advice kinda way, it was in a do what I say kinda way). So then he looks at me and says Im kinda glad we had our first fight. What?! Our first fight! This is the third date! Im stuck with him for at least dinnner, so I just laugh and try to move on with the conversation. We go to Buddha Bar. First of all, it was packed with 19 year old girls dressed in club clothes. I have on a cowel neck sweater because he neglected to inform me of the dress code and I have never heard of Buddha Bar before. We wait 2 hours for a table, sit down at 1030 and cant hear each other because the music is so loud. There is actually a DJ in the dining room. So not my scene. We eat and then leave. The whole time he is apologizing for the wait and how loud it is. He then tries to force the hat on my head again when we go outside. At this point, Ive had enough of midget man. He throws the hat on the floor. Im assuming this is because he is mad I wont put it on. Like I care if his hat is on the floor. So we start walking toward my bus stop. He thinks were gonna have another drink, Im planning to run as soon as I see the bus. We go into a cafe to wait for the bus since its cold and he is complaining that Im not standing next to him. The bus comes, I turn to him and tell him Thank you but I dont think this is going to work out anymore. I get on the bus and sit next to a cute looking but probably gay guy. Next thing I know, Im being woken up by someone saying This is your stop. I look up and do not recognize the person. He says, are you ok? Im still confused I say yes and get off the bus. As Im walking to my car, I start to realize what happened. I fell asleep on the cute gay guy and he must have asked me what stop I needed to get off at, which is how he knew to wake me up. I think that I actually had my head nestled onto his shoulder. Picture it. Yup, this is something that would only happen to me.